Guidelines for a Wedding Service at St John's Orthodox Church 

Marriage in the Orthodox Church is one of the Holy Mysteries.  The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are active in our lives; through this mystery, the man and woman enter into a new relationship with each other, and with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit through the Church.  These guidelines honor and support the centuries-long tradition of the Orthodox Marriage Service. 

• One of your first responsibilities is to speak with priest, select a date, and begin pre-marriage counseling (the counseling can last several months, so it is best to start as soon as possible).  When selecting a date, please remember that the wedding service can be held on Saturdays between 10am and 3pm and on Sundays after the Divine Liturgy.  There are no wedding services during Great Lent, Nativity Lent, the twelve days between Nativity and Theophany, the Apostles’ Fast and the Dormition Fast.

• You should also speak with the choir director to make sure that the choir is available on the date that has been selected for the wedding.

• You must select two sponsors to participate in the betrothal and marriage service; a couple may also select a best man and a maid of honor, but, often, these four roles are combined, so it's important to understand that at least one of the sponsors must be an Orthodox Christian. The responsibility of the sponsors is to give spiritual guidance and support to the couple.  They will help explain some of the wedding customs in the Orthodox Betrothal and Marriage Service.  They can help the couple decide how to provide for their crowns and candles.  Unless it is mutually agreed ahead of time it is not the responsibility of the sponsors to organize showers or parties for the couple or to help in wedding preparations. 

• You must decide on the wedding party/participants.  The father of the bride may escort his daughter to the Narthex for the Betrothal.  The people in the wedding party will stand in the Narthex during the Betrothal.  At the end of the Betrothal the parents of the bride and groom will be escorted by the ushers into the Nave first, followed by those in the wedding party.  The priest will lead the newly betrothed couple into the church after all the wedding party is in place.

• It is important to understand that the service and the music that is used during the service cannot be changed. We will do our best to accommodate personal preferences before the service begins and after the service ends, but the service cannot be edited or altered.

• When selecting the clothing for the wedding you need to remember that marriage is a Holy Mystery.  During the service you will be in the presence of the Most Holy Trinity, so everyone needs to dress appropriately.  This means a suit and tie with no hat for the groom, and the bride must choose a wedding gown that does not reveal her back or her shoulders or any cleavage.  The requirement for modest and appropriate dress also applies to everyone in the wedding party. If you have any questions, please check with the priest before making any purchases. 

• You should select a photographer and videographer.  They will be the only people permitted to take pictures and video during the service. 

• It’s important to remember that we stand during our worship services. If necessary, a limited number of chairs can be made available during the service for members of the immediate family, and these can be marked by “reserved” signs.  This may be especially important for families who are not Orthodox or who might not be familiar with Orthodox traditions. Anyone unable to stand may use the chairs and benches in the nave. 

• When planning for flowers and decorations, please remember that arrangements may be placed before the icons and on the table in the narthex.  Flowers or greenery such as small vines may be placed upon the iconostas.  Flowers, small greenery and/or ribbon may be placed upon the chairs.  Trellises and lights are not appropriate.

• You will need to select at least two ushers prior to the wedding rehearsal.  The ushers will be responsible for guiding guests into the Nave before the service begins.  They will also escort the immediate family to the reserved seating (or standing area) after the Betrothal and before the Marriage Service.   

• You will also need to select someone from the parish to act as a “Greeter”.  This person will greet guests as they approach the church and ask if they would like any special guidance before entering the building.  For example, “Welcome.  Are you family? Are you Orthodox or have you been to an Orthodox wedding before today?”  The Greeter will also be responsible for briefly stopping guests once the Betrothal has begun and directing them to enter the Nave through the side door. 

• If children are going to walk in procession with the wedding party then an adult must be available to specifically supervise and guide them. An additional adult, not in the wedding party, must also be available for them to go to if they get tired of participating in the service.  Of course, once the child decides to no longer participate, he or she needs to stay with the adult and not return to the service.

• The wedding rehearsal is mandatory, and everyone in the wedding, including children, must be in attendance.  Everyone must also be on time.  This is only common courtesy in consideration for the busy schedule of everyone who is helping. If there is a dinner after the rehearsal, it is important to invite all those who are participating in the rehearsal (clergymen, choir director).

• You will be responsible for making arrangements ahead of time for cleaning up the church as there may be a service later that same day.  Clean up includes chairs, tables, and any extra items that may have used in the service.  If friends or family will be responsible for cleaning up, then it is important that the names of those specific persons be given to the priest. All of this information will be required at the rehearsal.