Spiritual Counsels for the Parish Council
“Let us love one another, that with one accord we may confess…Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the Trinity, one in essence and undivided.”
Pray daily for the members of the council. This is a crucial part of our unity.
Always remember that how we do our work is every bit as important as the work itself. We are called to model behavior that we want to see in our community.
The timely and prompt submission of monthly reports—and reading those reports—well before the actual meeting is essential. This is not just an issue of efficiency; it is also a key factor in effective communication.
We do not fear, nor are we embarrassed by, disagreements. We are, each of us, free to disagree with any member of the council and with any member of the clergy.
Disagreements over motions, plans, or ideas should be addressed before the meeting actually begins. The discussion can continue during the meeting, or through several meetings, but council members should communicate their disagreements face to face well in advance of the actual meeting. To announce one’s disagreement in a meeting is a power play that has nothing to do with open communication.
E-mail should be used only to communicate information. Any substantive discussion should take place face to face.
Council members should never, ever forget that every issue, every interaction, and, certainly, every disagreement is personal. Consequently, we should always treat each other with kindness and respect.
There should never be any close votes on the council. This represents poor planning and a failure to communicate effectively. There should never be a reason why a particular vote cannot be postponed until the council can move closer to consensus.
Lengthy meetings are sometimes necessary. However, lengthy meetings also increase the potential for fatigue, frustration, and misunderstanding. Council members must have the self-awareness to call for a break when they need one.
When we get on each other’s nerves or step on each other’s toes or offend each other---as we invariably will---we must be willing to apologize and accept apologies.
Walking out of meetings, physical confrontations, or verbal outbursts will simply not be tolerated. Council members who engage in these kinds of behaviors have, in actual fact, already resigned, and they will be instructed to make that resignation official before the next meeting.
We must never initiate or participate in triangulated communication. We should never import this sort of communication into our meetings.
We have no secrets. Our deliberations as a council are only qualified and conditioned by our desire to respect, as much as possible, the dignity and privacy of others.
We always, without exception, observe confidentiality. We do not discuss confidential matters with spouses, friends in the parish, friends outside the parish, or out of state family. We do not try to circumvent confidentiality by giving out information without any names or by responding to what people already know.
Council members must be regular participants in the Mystery of Holy Confession. This will allow us to do our work with as much purity of heart as possible, and it will help us to distinguish between our emotional needs and the needs of the parish.